Harriette Cole: I can’t get over what my child said about my drinking

DEAR HARRIETTE About a month ago a sparse family members came to town While I was giving them the grand tour of my city one of my daughters pointed to the wine and spirits store and revealed This is Mommy s favorite store Related Articles Harriette Cole The caption on my middle-schooler s TikTok selfie shocked me Harriette Cole How do I talk to my roommate about this daily disruption Harriette Cole My twins are getting snappish over college acceptance Harriette Cole My neighbor didn t do a thing when his dog charged at me Harriette Cole One of my bridesmaids didn t show up for the wedding Half the group laughed at my daughter s silly message but half were altogether silent I know that everyone who stayed silent felt just as embarrassed as me I don t even know why but I felt exposed I don t want my children thinking of me this way I don t drink every day but I seemingly drink a little more than the average person I never drink when I m going to work or any other key engagements I drink only at home after work hours so I didn t realize my children had picked up on this My drinking hasn t ever felt harmful but for particular reason I cannot get over that moment from a scant weeks ago Is there something wrong with my indulgence Mom Anonymous DEAR MOM ANONYMOUS Since this concerns you deeply examine it Track your drinking for the next couple of weeks Note how often you definitely drink and whether you are doing so around your children While you think you drink only occasionally if that time coincides with family time it may seem to your children that drinking is a constant for you You may want to check that Allow your discomfort at their comment to shine a spotlight on your behavior so you can decide if you want to change it DEAR HARRIETTE My boyfriend and I have been dating for about two months now and while things started off really strong there s something that s been bothering me more and more He refuses to show me where he lives It feels intentional and calculated Every time I ve brought it up he dodges the question or gives a vague excuse The first time he declared his apartment was under renovation Then a week later he explained his roommate was having family over and the place was a mess Another time he claimed he just prefers going out Now that we re two months in it s starting to feel like a serious red flag We reliably hang out at my place or meet in populace Not once have I seen the outside of his building let alone been invited in He perpetually drives but he never offers to meet at his place or take me there When I tried to push a little and appealed directly why I ve never seen where he lives he laughed it off and stated You ll get there eventually don t worry I am worried It s making me feel like he s hiding something What should I do Off-Limits Related Articles Dear Abby Is there a way to tell the crass shirttail relations that they re not invited Asking Eric The latest of my friends to vanish had been acting strange on our walk Harriette Cole The caption on my middle-schooler s TikTok selfie shocked me Miss Manners I don t want to sound so curt when they ask about wedding gifts Dear Abby I work on the road and come home to this chaos DEAR OFF-LIMITS Tell your boyfriend that it makes you uncomfortable that he seems to be hiding his home from you Something as basic as where a person lives should not be off-limits in your mind Ask him what he is hiding from you Is he really that messy Does he indeed have a home or is he living in temporary housing Is he really single or is he living with a girlfriend or wife Tell him all of the thoughts that are going through your head because he refuses to share this basic part of his life with you Remind him that the easiest way to allay your concerns is to show you his home Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams You can send questions to askharriette harriettecole com or c o Andrews McMeel Syndication Walnut St Kansas City MO