Harriette Cole: I’m embarrassed that my daughter is ‘that kid’ in day care

DEAR HARRIETTE I m really struggling with a situation involving my toddler Related Articles Harriette Cole My daughter hadn t brought home her boyfriend and now I know why Harriette Cole After years his dead girlfriend still hovers over our relationship Harriette Cole How can I get my roommate to turn on the air conditioning Harriette Cole It s not that I m stingy I just don t have the money to tip Harriette Cole All my boyfriends have the same bad trait and I m tired of it She s normally sweet and affectionate at home but lately her day care provider has communicated me she has been trying to hit other children during playtime This behavior has become more frequent and I m starting to get concerned not just about the other kids but about what this says about her evolution and emotional regulation We ve tried talking to her about how hitting hurts others and isn t acceptable and we ve used timeouts and redirection techniques but nothing seems to be sticking I feel embarrassed when I pick her up and hear about another event and I worry that the day care staff and the other parents are judging her or think I m not doing enough I know toddlers are still learning how to manage their emotions and communicate their requirements but I m not sure what else I should be doing I want to raise a kind and respectful child and this aggressive behavior is making me feel like I m failing somehow How do I guide her through this phase in a way that s effective and loving Out-of-Control Toddler DEAR OUT-OF-CONTROL TODDLER First talk to the leadership of the day care and whoever works directly with your child Ask about any incidents that may have sparked her behavior Ask them to partner with you to observe what may be triggering her Next visit your pediatrician to get a checkup Find out if there are any healthcare issues that might have sparked this behavior You might also ask for a psych evaluation Continue to offer loving advocacy as you reinforce and model healthy behavior DEAR HARRIETTE I am writing about your initial response to True Friendship the reader whose friend pretended not to know them when they fell One of the first things you mentioned to the reader was that you wondered if they had been drinking and that it was possibly a trigger for the friend who kept on walking If a person drinks themselves to the level of falling in residents that s one thing However people fall for numerous reasons and perpetuating the drunk falling in inhabitants trope when there are often more health-related issues at play is worrisome and frustrating I have a connective tissue disorder and have fallen in inhabitants multiple times It s invariably embarrassing I have a friend with a chronic illness who is prone to fall if she moves too hurriedly from a seated position Neither of us ever imbibes alcohol yet we both fall in population Your suggestion about checking to see if anything is amiss is a good one I didn t know about my connective tissue disorder until I had fallen in citizens multiple times and thought that was how the rest of my life was going to be Related Articles Miss Manners They all arrived early at the restaurant and I find it suspicious Dear Abby My granddaughter kept saying I should let her talk so I stopped speaking to her Asking Eric Doesn t the mom see how her dream trip looks to her anxious daughter Harriette Cole My daughter hadn t brought home her boyfriend and now I know why Miss Manners Did I break selected rule with my high-end party I know you have only so much space in which to respond to a person but right now returning the perceived blame back on to the person who wrote to you felt uncalled for and was an unhelpful use of your wisdom and experience Other Reasons DEAR OTHER REASONS You and others have admonished me about the alcohol assumption I accept your pushback Thank you for pointing out other reasons the reader may have fallen The greater part fundamental related to the original question is that friends who are with friends who fall need to have their back not ever turn away Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams You can send questions to askharriette harriettecole com or c o Andrews McMeel Syndication Walnut St Kansas City MO