Harriette Cole: It’s not that I’m stingy, I just don’t have the money to tip

DEAR HARRIETTE Do I have to tip for everything these days Related Articles Harriette Cole All my boyfriends have the same bad trait and I m tired of it Harriette Cole Should I tell this sneaky woman she s never getting her job back Harriette Cole I should never have agreed to the father-son blind date Harriette Cole She took my car and went to brunch Two months later I got a huge bill Harriette Cole I keep replaying the moment this date went bad I m starting to feel overwhelmed by how often I m expected to leave a tip at coffee shops takeout counters and self-checkout kiosks It seems like no matter where I go there s a screen prompting me to leave or more even when there hasn t been any real organization involved I m all for supporting workers and I understand that various amenity employees rely on tips as a main source of their income but it s starting to feel excessive I used to associate tipping with sit-down restaurants or services where someone really went out of their way to help me Now it feels like a moral dilemma every time I buy a muffin or get a cup of tea I don t want to seem stingy or disrespectful but I m also on a budget and these little tips are adding up fast Is it wrong to feel this way How do I manage tipping way of life without going broke or feeling guilty every time I hit the no tip button The Art of Tipping DEAR THE ART OF TIPPING The extent to which tips are requested has changed You are right that majority of checkouts request tips That does not mean you have to give it You can still go by the wisdom that you tip for attentive organization Look around in specific small coffee shops you will notice workers truly extending themselves as they care for customers a perfect time to tip Do not tip at self-checkout stations fast-food counters or drive-through windows Use your judgment and leave the guilt behind DEAR HARRIETTE I in recent weeks broke my foot and as a aftermath I m now in a walking boot and on crutches for the next two to three months It s been a major adjustment everything from getting dressed to running errands has become a challenge I live alone in a major city where I rely heavily on community transportation which has made things even more complicated Navigating buses and trains with crutches is exhausting and sometimes it feels nearly impossible to get to a specialist s appointment or pick up groceries What s been most of surprising and disappointing though is the lack of backing from my closest friends While particular have checked in via text none have really offered to help in a practical way like bringing food giving me a ride or coming over to keep me company I know everyone is busy with their own lives but I guess I expected a little more compassion or initiative especially from people I ve been there for in the past Related Articles Miss Manners The marriage proposal you saw on TikTok was bogus Dear Abby The graduate s guest list threatens to create unwanted drama Asking Eric My husband thinks the neighbors will retaliate over the trash issue Dear Abby I don t love him but I m thinking he might be the smart choice Asking Eric Should I sign my husband s name when I confront his old girlfriend I don t want to come across as needy or burdensome but at the same time I m feeling overwhelmed and a little hurt Is it wrong to feel let down Broken DEAR BROKEN Sure you can feel let down but that feeling isn t going to help you any Instead be proactive Your friends clearly do not understand what your demands are so you must tell them Make a list of how they can help you and ask if any of them are willing to do so Particular of your friends will step up Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams You can send questions to askharriette harriettecole com or c o Andrews McMeel Syndication Walnut St Kansas City MO